December secrets

December 2009.  Like many other people in this planet, I feel the rush as the year end approaches.  Projects need to be completed, there are parties to attend, and the interview season is up (which means that I'll have lots of one-on-one meetings).  But above all, unexpected excitements and spices go into my personal life.  A cup of glue wine at the Christmas market and a walk back home in a chilly night can lead to something interesting.

I almost fear that the best moments go unnoticed in the rush of things.  The attention you get when you enter a restaurant, a charming conversation that sticks to your mind, or how it felt running in a high-heel for an opera---things that most of the time lead to nothing extraordinary, but are certainly in the category of excruciating pleasure at that spontaneous moment.

Wouldn't it be nice to remember those small things?  I'd love to quickly look back on them later on when life suddenly seems so boring.  And this morning, I almost felt an urge to create a new Twitter account, just to let out my secrets... like an anonymous diary.  Maybe I will... maybe.

2010 is approaching fast and nothing seems concrete for me.  What I will do next year, where I will be, whom I will be with... and this uncertainty has been the biggest fear that crept in every year end.  But it's different this time.  I feel much happier recognizing that I don't know how to answer these questions.   Instead I am enjoying the uncertainty to the full.  There are no deadlines.  Uncertainty means possibility.

Happy holidays to me.